Imagine life without multiple sclerosis

Imagine Life without Multiple Sclerosis

Life without multiple sclerosis. Yes in my mind

Sometimes I like to play a simple mental game. Picture myself going up a flight of stairs. Maybe I can see myself walking to the shops and then carry the shopping back home. Drive the car instead of using the bus. I can still visualize myself striding out for a walk with the dog, not a care in the world.

Imagine life without multiple sclerosis

Nowadays these are all pipedreams. I am no shirker but at the same time I am unemployable. Twelve years ago I was a happy computer geek working on back office banking systems in Europe. Not worried about paying the mortgage or making contributions to my pension. I used to catch the first flight at 6 on Monday morning and fly back on the Friday evening. I was a free spirit.

One day in 1994

A consultant diagnosed me with MS. He was unimpressive and he did not impress me. I had never heard the words ‘MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS’ before and little did I know that eighteen years later I would be on the scrap heap of employment, medically retired. Now I am dependent upon my DLA and ESA benefit money. Mortgage still has to be paid off so The Wife works. I do persevere and try to imagine life without multiple sclerosis.

After diagnosis we moved house and I asked for a health insurance quote. The underwriter muttered “you have an incurable disease” and ran for cover.

Do I worry?

It’s far too late to worry about what might have happened. I do realise that people would much rather talk to me if I look happy, so I do.  Who wants to have a conversation with a miserable looking person? No I’m not unhappy but at the same time it would be fair to say that I could be much happier. Nonetheless I have learned to look forwards and be positive. I avoid thinking negative thoughts.

Since medical retirement

I have learnt to run this website. People ask me to give talks on subjects that interest me. Repeat business does occur so I cannot be that dreadful. I give occasional talks about my condition and occasionally help with interviews and research. I have absolutely no regrets taking medical retirement from the corporate world of computers and back office banking in 2012.

Under my own terms

The only boss now is The Wife and we manage. A good understanding of each other’s skills is essential. These are strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Is this SWOT analysis? I’ve gained new skills, developed weaknesses, look for opportunities though they are rare and I ignore threats.

Imagine life without multiple sclerosis

Life could be easier but who knows. Some other accident could have happened that could have put me in a much more perilous state. I have learnt to be happy with my lot.

Tell me how you park your condition.

March 2017

6 responses to “Imagine life without multiple sclerosis”

  1. Natalie | Surviving Life's Hurdles says:

    Thanks for sharing, it’s good to know I’m not alone. Most of the time I’m just getting on with my new normal but every now and then I think ‘oh yeah I used to be able to do that’!

  2. peter hider says:

    You match me with this, I dream I’m normal again (I have TM) Since 2005 I accept things could be worse and of course sometimes I am really p**ss** off with everything but I think it important to remember what we used to be able to do otherwise our past was all for nought.

  3. Mark Webb says:

    I honestly can’t imagine life without MS. I try to imagine the things like you. Shopping, stairs, walking, jumping. Just can’t….

    • Hello Mark,

      I really used to struggle. There were too many problems then I had Botox injections. A huge elephant left the room and I regained some control over my life. None the less MS is still there.

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