Sometimes I cannot get out of first gear

We can all have good days and bad days. People with Multiple Sclerosis seem to have more bad days than good days. Just at the moment I’m not sleeping well. During the day sometimes I cannot get out of first gear. It is sooooo frustrating. It is an invisible symptom.

Just at the moment

I’m going through a patch when I always wake up early. Then I wonder why I didn’t turn the light out earlier the night before. Now I struggle to get out of bed. Find out about my fatigue

Sometimes I cannot get out of first gear

I’m tired before I even get dressed in the morning.

Half the time the toast should land on the floor sticky side up. Just at the moment it always lands sticky side down. Is it ‘cos I’m too knackered?

This is not depression

I am just unable to feel motivated. I get out of bed and I get dressed. This takes me an hour and still I cannot get out of first gear. I get downstairs and want to do things but where has the energy gone? Also I’m too easily distracted, forever flitting from one thing to another.

It is a most peculiar feeling

Not only are my legs in treacle it feels as if all of me is in a tub of treacle. Deliberate actions take so long. Just moving from room to room can take so long. I can see myself as a three legged dog chasing a cat.

Suddenly bad things can happen

Walking at home with the rollator.  I stop, turnaround to pick up something I dropped on the floor. A sudden loss of concentration and then I’m a heap on the floor. Now here comes the real problem getting back up onto my feet again. No sense of balance and no strength in my legs.

Me-time

A secret is to have a bit of me time; sit down in a chair and relax. Maybe I’ll read the newspaper maybe even a quick snooze. This is time to recharge my batteries.

I feel better afterwards. Suddenly I have some energy. Maybe I can dance but my legs won’t do as they are told 🙂 The question is why do I leave the snooze until late afternoon?

I really should try to do it earlier in the day then I might get so much more done. Okay I always have jobs to do around the house. It’s the energy to do new things that is so elusive.

Since I wrote this

I have started to reclaim some of my energy. I  manage to move up into second gear and occasionally even engage third gear To be honest I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s a case of energy creating energy. I have stepped out of my apathy. I’ve now made myself go out and do things. Long may it continue.

July 2017

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