Manage Your Life and Depression
It’s not an easy task to manage your life and depression.
It’s even worse if you have a progressive illness. Your life and your capabilities are being nibbled away bit by bit. It is no wonder that you feel sad and dejected maybe even rejected.
Depression is curable
Oh yes these are strong words but yes it can happen; I was depressed. I had problems like loss of interest in daily activities, changes in my appetite, I became moody and suffered unpredictable sleep patterns.
Glass is half empty
At times I did feel worthless and unwanted but thoughts of death or suicide never seriously entered my mind. The glass was always half empty, that thought was uppermost in my mind. I always saw things as omens of pessimism.
Me as I used to be
Seeing other people doing things that I used to enjoy was no fun. The fact that MS prevents me from doing them today is very upsetting. It was the little things that hit me the hardest. Seeing a man give his son a piggy-back or seeing someone run to catch a bus. Just brief cameos of me as I used to be.
The ability just to get up and do something spontaneously has gone. The realisation that I had changed made me moody and difficult to live with. I felt rejected. It must have been hell living with me during those days.
This only made things worse
I used to worry about getting work as a freelance computer geek and I lost the ability to fall asleep. This only made things worse.
I was always seeing the glass as half empty; I had to change my life so it was now half full. This sounds really easy – if only.
Started to be forgetful
By now day to day life was a terrible struggle. I was now unable to do so many things that everyone takes for granted; driving, dog walking, gardening, carrying the shopping into the house and even my career. I now took on new activities such as falling over, forgetfulness and even urinary tract infections (UTI).
I talked and she listened
Barby, my other half, did not want to hear me banging on incessantly about my MS, what I missed and what I could no longer do. Instead she sent me to a counsellor.
Well, it must have worked. I talked for an hour and the counsellor listened and this happened weekly for two years. Slowly I began to see things differently. I began to see what I could now do rather than what I had lost. It took a long time; this website is part of that process.
Lots of people go to counsellors, I was assured that even counsellors get counselling. If you feel that a certain spark or twinkle to your life has been extinguished then give counselling a go. SZee if that makes the glass half full.
Managing day-to-day life with multiple sclerosis This is the first article in the series
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